I put myself in a box for a week and I went just a liiiiiiitle bit kookoo.
I wanted EASE. I wanted to streamline my life. I wanted to be an easy person who was happy focusing on just 1 or 2 or 3 things in life and have it all laid out neatly and perfectly and to be able to dip in and out of each box of joy for a few moments and have that fill my soul up with so much joy that it would just be PERFECT and I would be CONTENT with that.
But notice the language I use just there? CONTENT! Who wants to be CONTENT?!
What was I thinking???
Not much, clearly.
I’m a MESS! I’m here and there and EVERYWHERE. And that’s OK. It’s #annoyingAF, but it’s OK.
A little while back I decided that I am ONLY a musician and I recorded music every day for about 10 days (scroll back through my most recent posts and you’ll see a lot of it there).
I LOVED IT!
Music fills my soul with so much PURPOSE and it’s CRYSTAL CLEAR that THAT is my purpose. I come here bearing gifts, and my #1 soul gift is sound frequencies.
But also – I’m a writer (hey look at all these blog posts! There are literally HUNDREDS of them!).
And – I’m a visionary.
And – I’m #clairvoyantAF.
And – I’m ALL THAT AND MORE.
But sometimes I look at all those normal people with normal jobs who do normal things and I see them laugh and smile and congratulate themselves on their organisation and structure and routine and all that jazz, and I just want a piece of it. I want a piece of that contentment. They seem so happy in their bliss bubble of normality.
I don’t know if it’s all a farce, but I tried it for a week. I tried to put myself in a box and said I’M A MUSICIAN and THAT’S ALL.
And then something happened.
One morning I woke up, and I wanted to stay in bed. I wasn’t tired. But I didn’t want to get up. I had no reason to get up. Except my 2 year old was awake so I figured I better get up for him. “Thank you, son! If it wasn’t for you I’d probably still be in bed!”
Was I depressed? No.
Was I bored? FUCK YES!
I was #boredAF being JUST a musician in a nice neat little box who went to “work” and did stuff and stuff and then after that shut the door and forgot about it while I went “home” (aka any other room in the house) and did Mum Stuff and didn’t write and didn’t draw and didn’t tune in much, and didn’t really do much at all.
I was KIND OF HAPPY – JUST being a musician.
But I couldn’t stay in my nice little box any more.
I had to get out and look at the other boxes I’d created for myself.
I couldn’t hop into any of them!
I jumped up and down and squashed up the lot of them!
Phew! What a relief!
Then I wrote some fiction and tuned into the universe and predicted a meteor shower and a bunch more cool stuff and then this happened in the afternoon: