Life Purpose

A decree and declaration

Nature always wins.

The next evolution is Nature. She gets to take back her home. She gets to have all parts of her self returned.

What do we want to stand for, even if we’re going to sink?

I’ve done my bit, but when do those in power do their bit? It’s bloody expensive buying 100% natural zero waste slow fashion. It takes effort sourcing quality natural zero waste materials, and a lot of time to make clothes yourself. It takes time and energy growing and making all your food from scratch.

As it stands, living in a minimal impact manner is reserved for those who can afford it – in time, energy and finance.

[Continue Reading]

Lockdown Life

This week I’ve done pretty much nothing, but accepted the extreme lethargy that comes with life in lockdown. My goal has been to be happy with not achieving anything.

As someone who has always strived to win – from music competitions growing up, to powerlifting and kettlebell competitions later on – it’s been an interesting process being happy with being average. I’ve always been either all in, or all out. This middle ground is unfamiliar and curious.

As I walk through the cool waters of Middle Ground, I find my feet dipping into muddy sections. Days consist of playing Lego, reading and making comics, watching new vegetable seeds start to pop up in the soil, and ordering vegan doughnuts online.

[Continue Reading]

Finding Freedom in Lockdown

Something I’m finding very interesting at the moment is living in a wealthy western country in an extremely privileged life – in lockdown. Going from living with all the physical freedoms and mod cons of this world to living with a curfew, schools and businesses closed down, restricted time outside, and extreme reduction in ability to move around.

Not only is there a virus pandemic going on, but there’s a mental health epidemic moving even faster through the community.

[Continue Reading]

Something M

This piece of music has many firsts for me, but I’ll tell you the story of it first…

You know, at first glance, most people think my music is beautiful in the sense that it is light, perhaps glorious, and even blissful. There’s definitely an energy of working with the “light” if you know what I mean.

But most people don’t realise that I cover the full spectrum of our emotions, the full spectrum of humanity, and the full spectrum of what it is to be real. That is – there’s a lot of “dark” in there too.

There’s a lot of bleakness, of feeling alone, of not belonging, of not being of this world, of wandering around on this Earth like an imposter.

And through all that – there’s a sense of permission that it’s actually OK to feel like this. And that it can even be beautiful. Like when we listen to sad songs and they make us cry because they are so sad, but they are so beautiful at the same time. Like when we listen to an opera about someone who’s just killed themselves and they sing and it is the most exquisite thing we’ve ever heard. Just as there’s a beauty in watching roses gradually die and dry in a vase, there’s a beauty in the rich tapestry of life that weaves in the full emotions of humanity and Mother Earth, and there’s a beauty in feeling it all.

I feel this on a depth of so many layers, it is almost impossible to tell them apart, but man is it beautiful. Something even… magical.

And then… Something M was born.

Something M from ASPECTS

Something M has many firsts for me:

Layering piano sounds – I’m not a pianist – this is challenging for me!
No acoustic instruments – This is all done on a synthesiser. Yes I played the notes, but yes I also acknowledged my piano skills were shite AF and I needed an easier keyboard to work with that I could then force to be in time (oh the mess that was happening when I was trying and failing with the piano!)
Introducing other orchestral sounds – Again on the synth I was able to do this, and I love the effect! I feel cinematic AF.
Allowing myself to show the darker side of life – Can you hear any Game of Thrones / Westworld influences in there?
Rhythm and melody – Working with the synth allowed me to express so many rhythmic layers that I usually hear in my head, but am unable to do on the acoustic piano due to my rubbish playing (and let’s not forget the weird buzzing on some of the piano notes which means I need to play quietly on these notes, which knocks out my rhythm due to the delay in sound, and sometimes no sound, that comes out when very quiet). While working with these multi layers of rhythms, I was also able to add the slower melody over the top, which is also what I hear in my head when I play – all the rhythms and melodies and songs of the godzzz 🙂

Enjoy 🙂

Dust off the deception

There is no guarantee in life. Even death is not guaranteed. Highly likely. Probable. Not guaranteed.

So what if we just bask in the freedom of no guarantees?

What if we had no food? We’d grow our fucking own.

What if we were homeless? We’d live off the land.

What if we all lived in a Tank Girl / Mad Max type of world? But darling, we already do.

We have simply been overcome and overrun, overruled and overwhelmed, by invisible rules and expectations, invisible societies and invisible governments. It’s all a farce. It’s all an illusion. And like the fools we are, we bought into the lie of categorising ourselves into neat little boxes, and we played the game until it played us.

We world as we know it isn’t crumbling. It’s the figment of our imagination that has crashed.

Get up, dust off the deception, and live.

Beyond who you think you are and thought you were…

You are more than just your body. You are more than just the blood that runs through your veins. You are more than just the thoughts that cloud your brain. You are more than just your shell of existence that goes about its day meandering here and there and aimlessly strolls through the desert of life.

Beyond this shell, beyond your complex mind, beyond who you think you are and thought you were, you are the magik of the stars that sparkle in the night sky.

You are the magik of the stars that fly through the night, the planets that vibrate in harmony with one another, the deep dark emptiness of space that permeates your mind and clears the heart.

You are fire. You are earth. You are space. You are water. Imagine the alchemic creation waiting for you when you combine your elements.

The ripples of the universe are waiting for you to make waves.

This is all good and everything, but what, practically speaking, does this mean? And what, practically speaking, should we do?

It means that nothing really matters, as everything is insignificant, and that everything matters, as we are all connected by the fabrics of the universe that ebb and flow with the cycles of our lives.

Stay grounded.

Be who you are and live like you mean it.