I confess, sometimes my mind feels boring. Sometimes it feels like it’s going through the motions of life. Sometimes it feels like it’s running a program where it checks the boxes and does this and then that and then suddenly it’s lunch time and I can congratulate myself for achieving Status: Human.
But it’s SO FUCKING BORING!!! I don’t WANT to be JUST human. I don’t WANT to be JUST functioning. I don’t want to even be a functioning human because honestly – that bores the crap out of me!!!
So what DO I want? Do I REALLY want to be ON FIRE all day every day? Do I REALLY want to be TUNED THE FUCK IN all day every day? Do I REALLY want to be LIVING THROUGH MY HEART all day every day?
Here’s the FRUSTRATING thing about HUMANING: Sometimes your body has to recharge. Sometimes your mind tunes the fuck out. Sometimes it even shuts down altogether.
And when that happens there’s only one thing to do: GO WITHIN.
It’s not even the same as TUNING WITHIN – which I am ALWAYS banging on about – GOING within is literally going INTO my soul and SEEING what is there. I’m a bit clairvoyant like that 😉
Today there’s a black panther in there ready to POUNCE out with a ROAR.
But what does THAT even MEAN?
It just means I’m sitting on a rocket. On dynamite. On – a wild panther who is probably going to explode out and attack sometime soon.
Could I let him out now? Yeah, I could, but he’d be watered down. He’d be a little lost, randomly roaring at shadows. So I’m actually going to let him simmer a while. Part of me is all about letting out what wants to come out, so part of me just wants to release this beast NOW, but also, I’ve got a hunch he’s collecting some WILD AS thoughts and concepts and genius brilliance before he’s ripe for unleashing.
Flowers grow around him now, in his garden of Eden, of his birth place, of my soul. Gorgeous flowers that smell BEYOND divine, and fruits full of the most INTENSE flavour you could imagine. Yep, he’s savouring it all.
Stay tuned folks, this is going to be incredible once he’s out.
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