This piece of music has many firsts for me, but I’ll tell you the story of it first…
You know, at first glance, most people think my music is beautiful in the sense that it is light, perhaps glorious, and even blissful. There’s definitely an energy of working with the “light” if you know what I mean.
But most people don’t realise that I cover the full spectrum of our emotions, the full spectrum of humanity, and the full spectrum of what it is to be real. That is – there’s a lot of “dark” in there too.
There’s a lot of bleakness, of feeling alone, of not belonging, of not being of this world, of wandering around on this Earth like an imposter.
And through all that – there’s a sense of permission that it’s actually OK to feel like this. And that it can even be beautiful. Like when we listen to sad songs and they make us cry because they are so sad, but they are so beautiful at the same time. Like when we listen to an opera about someone who’s just killed themselves and they sing and it is the most exquisite thing we’ve ever heard. Just as there’s a beauty in watching roses gradually die and dry in a vase, there’s a beauty in the rich tapestry of life that weaves in the full emotions of humanity and Mother Earth, and there’s a beauty in feeling it all.
I feel this on a depth of so many layers, it is almost impossible to tell them apart, but man is it beautiful. Something even… magical.
Something M has many firsts for me:
- Layering piano sounds – I’m not a pianist – this is challenging for me!
- No acoustic instruments – This is all done on a synthesiser. Yes I played the notes, but yes I also acknowledged my piano skills were shite AF and I needed an easier keyboard to work with that I could then force to be in time (oh the mess that was happening when I was trying and failing with the piano!)
- Introducing other orchestral sounds – Again on the synth I was able to do this, and I love the effect! I feel cinematic AF.
- Allowing myself to show the darker side of life – Can you hear any Game of Thrones / Westworld influences in there?
- Rhythm and melody – Working with the synth allowed me to express so many rhythmic layers that I usually hear in my head, but am unable to do on the acoustic piano due to my rubbish playing (and let’s not forget the weird buzzing on some of the piano notes which means I need to play quietly on these notes, which knocks out my rhythm due to the delay in sound, and sometimes no sound, that comes out when very quiet). While working with these multi layers of rhythms, I was also able to add the slower melody over the top, which is also what I hear in my head when I play – all the rhythms and melodies and songs of the godzzz 🙂